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| Baby at 9 weeks |
Tiny head, hands, feet floated,
in gentle waters—life blood still, heart silent.
And little voices asked: “Why did baby
want to play with Jesus in heaven?”
Why?
But this time why dies on lips because I’ve learned:
Loss is Life.
Others weep deep losses
I may never know:
Mothers bury sons-with-names,
Children bury fathers, mothers,
Bodies twist with sickness,
Bringing death of dreams—
Bringing sorrow to living,
Life is Loss.
Families splinter.
Relationships with those not-yet-dead
shrivel-die before blooming.
Mothers reject daughters
Fathers hate sons
Selfish hearts corrupt what should have been,
what ought to be . . .
Life is Loss.
But now, as second baby
rises to “play with Jesus,” this I know:
Loss is gain.
Loss is hope.
Loss is joy.
Loss opens blind eyes to blessing:
Three blond boys, named and growing,
Husband of ten years, love unconditional, thriving,
Sister-love deepening within family fracturing,
Holy Spirit family—forever flourishing
In our Father of Life.
Loss shatters delusion, the mirage of control,
Loss turns hearts to
He who holds all things in the
Palm of his hand,
Who knows the hairs on my head,
Who formed me in my mother’s womb
Who loves me in spite of me.
“I consider everything a loss compared
to the surpassing greatness of knowing
Christ Jesus my Lord,
for whose sake I have lost all things.”*
Becca
Death is a dialogue between
The spirit and the dust.
“Dissolve,” says Death. The Spirit, “Sir,
I have another trust.”
Death doubts it, argues from the ground
The Spirit turns away,
Just laying off, for evidence,
An overcoat of clay.
Emily Dickinson
Psalm 71:20-21
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Lamentations 3:31-33
For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
* Philippians 3:8
